Today was a day spent doing pretty much the usual since we moved into our new house less than two weeks ago: helping my mom with whatever she needs to get done before the summer. But then she asked me to pack for Switzerland. And reality kicked in.
As I was packing, I realized how normal the thought of 13-hour plane rides is to me.
If I had grown up in a "western" country, I would probably be nervous, excited and probably a little stressed out as well, to be flying the long distance between Bangkok and Zurich. And yet, I'm only the excited part of the package. Why? Well, honestly, I love planes. I love travelling. And I love airports. And even though I do, it's still something that is strangely normal for me, to be heading back to my home country in the summer.
Other years I would have counted back the days since the school semester started in January. But this year, things are strangely different. The excitement is different. It's tweaked with a bit of anxiety, and a whole lot of sadness. Not because I'm afraid to fly, or because I'm going to miss Cambodia. It's because my older sis is graduating on Thursday. And I don't think I'm quite ready for it yet.
It feels like only yesterday we were little girls in Phnom Penh, happily playing with our huge collection of Barbies, barely aware of the fact that we were going to grow up eventually! And yet, the time that's passed since then has flown by so fast! It's so mind-blowing to think that I only have two years left of high school, and that I started high school that same amount of time ago. And yet it feels like only yesterday.
Time just goes by too fast.
That's all there is to it. I wish that there was some button I could press to make it slow down when I want it to, and speed up when I want it to. But no. Time just goes by the way that it does - usually not the way I want it to. But it's all in God's plan.
It's true that it's only a matter of time before Jael graduates, and she's out the door. But I also know equally well that there is a lot to look forward to in the days to come - in the near future, and the not-so-near future. God's got a lot in store for my older sis, and for me. There are days when I'm not so sure why God's put me here, where a lot things I wish I had are not within my reach. But at the same time, I know that it's my sisters that God has put right beside me that I should be really, really thankful for. I would be a totally different person were it not for their love, honesty, and inspiration throughout my life.
Jael has been such a unique example for what I want to be like when I'm older. She's shown me what it's like to be a really, really great older sister, and I hope than once she's gone, I'll be able to be that same comfort to Maria, my "baby" sister. It's still a little scary to think that in a matter of days, I'll be the "older sister", the "leader", the one who is supposed to experience the world first. And yet, I've had someone who experienced it before me, helped me to see the challenges before I've had to face them myself. And I'm so blessed to know that that someone is in good hands now - in God's hands. She'll be just fine. And so will I.
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